Letters to Jack
by I'mSlowlyDying
Summary: What happens when Kim writes Letters To Jack but never shows them to him? Will Kim's true feelings be shown? Major Kick :)
1. Chapter 1

_I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care. I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are and what you do. I'm sorry, I can't help it, I'm so in love with you._

_I know I shouldn't like him because I know it's not working and so I convince myself I don't. I see him and he'll put his arm around me or just say anything and then, all that logic and convincing, just evaporates._

_It hurts to breathe, because every breath I take proves that I can live without you._

_I guess when your heart gets broken, you begin to see the cracks in everything._

_Falling for someone the first time is easy...it's the second time, after you have fallen and trusted someone to catch you and they didn't...when it becomes difficult to fall again._

_I could fill a thousand pages telling you how I felt and still you would understand. So now I leave you without a sound, except my heart shattering as it hits the ground._

_How does a heart work if it's broke?_

_I never stopped loving you, I just stopped letting it show._

_I keep myself busy with things to do, but every time I pause, I still think of you._

_I wish he meant it when he kissed my lips, because then I could look back and remember someone loved me, instead I can only look back and remember someone used me._

_Hearts will never be made practical until they can be made unbreakable. -The Wizard of Oz_

_Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix then broken hearts._

_Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements, lock it up safe in the casket of your selfishness, but in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable._

_Love, the perfect picture, is often refused to the teenager. "They don't know what love is." We do. Every teenager knows how much they loved by how deeply they hurt when the relationship is over._

_I'll always love him. He carved out his piece of me that I can never get back and even if I could, it wouldn't matter because he has torn it to shreds. So now there's this hole that only he can fill. The thing is, I know he'll never ever fill it, because now he's off with some other girl and he forgot the way back into my heart. If only he'd call and ask for directions._

_My once upon a time, didn't end happily ever after,_

_I thought I forgot you, but I guess I forgot to._

_I never knew it hurt so much to lose something I never had._

_Sometimes you just have to hold your head up high, try not to cry, and say goodbye._

_The sky isn't always blue, the sun doesn't always shine, it's alright to fall apart sometimes._

_All they do is break your heart and I'm not sure I have a heart left to break._

_I'm only happy when it rains._

_All i want is to be in love. I dream of falling asleep in the arms of an angel and waking up to complete happiness and utter bliss, why can't I have that?_

_Tell me how long till I'm not just dreaming, how long till somebody cares, how long till I meet my angel? Tell me how long till I fall in love?_

_I know I should find someone new, but all I find is myself thinking of you._

_I never felt love until I loved you. I never felt hurt until I was hurt by you. I never had a dream until that dream was you. I never felt loss until the day I lost you. Yet I don't want you back. I don't need you here. I don't miss you at all...you're just the best thing that I ever had._

_Perhaps you'd be a bit surprised how often, if you knew, a joke, a song, a memory will make me think of you._

_How come whenever I think I'm over you, you talk to me and make me feel like I'm the most loved person in the world. And I realize I still love you nd I can't ot won't get over you._

_I'm not the kind of girl who thinks a guys is the answer to everything...I'm just tired of being alone._

_I yearn for a love that won't burn me in the end._

_One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart you can't utter from your mouth._

_I've been broken before, I know what it's like to see something funny and not laugh._

_You met me. You introduced yourself to me. You were a friend to me. You grew fond of me. You grew to appreciate me. You liked me. You asked me. I answered. You held me. You touched me. You needed me. You wanted me. You loved me. You grew tired of me. You felt trapped by me. You lied to me. You cheated on me. You hurt me. You left me._

_It's kinda hard to go out with someone, when you know, deep down, you're still in love with someone else._

_Tears are words the heart can't say._

_We came to be underneath the stars above, what started out as liking quickly turned to love. I sensed a certain something, that mine was true, I knew I waited my entire life to fall in love with someone like you. But now you are gone, just like that, without a trace. Now as I sit here and cry my tears of mourning and pain. I think of how you lied and cheated and betrayed me. I wonder if she will ever be as good to you in her entire lifetime as I was to you in just a simple month of mine._

_They say that it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all, but what do they say when you are still in love with the love you lost?_

_If it's true that love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear. Why did we get out of order. My tears came before your kiss that I am still waiting for._

_I'll have another chance, I'll find another guy, I'll see another day and I'll build another world and I'll find another life, just like you told me to, I'll find another love, but there will never be...another you._

_Speak of the Devil, look who just walked in. He knows just where to find me. here we go again, I can't let myself get lost in his arms, because that's how I got my heart broken before. I need a thousand angels to walk me out the door._

_Crushes you get over and the tears go away, but loving you is different, the teats will always stay._

_You see my soul, it's kind of gray. You see my heart, you look away. You see my wrist, I feel your pain. You know my cheeks aren't just wet from the rain._

_Sticks and stones may break my bones and rip my skin apart, but no one has hurt me like you, you really broke my heart._

_Words cannot fully express the extent of my love for him. But if you saw the way I cried when he left me, then perhaps you'd understand._

_Now I know I have a heart because I can feel it breaking. - The Tin Man, The Wizard of Oz_

_I sit alone and cry. It is my destiny to be the queen of pain._

_Between my love and agony, my thoughts converge to you._

_I never understood why people thought loved sucked, until I met you._

_It's easy to convince yourself that you aren't in love with someone, until you see them or smell someone wearing their cologne, and then you're like, 'here we go again.' So my conclusion is this: you don't ever stop loving 's more a matter of learning to deal with the pain of not having them anymore._

_~Kim_


	2. Chapter 2

_There's a part of me that wishes all my dreams come true and a part of me prays that I'll wake up someday and be over you._

_Why is it that after all the pain you've put me through I still seem to think of you?_

_Snow White. Cinderella. All about wanting a guy and getting saved by the guy. Little Mermaid. Aladdin. Pocahontas. All about getting a guy. Basically, we're screwed up because of Disney._

_My tears are still falling from my eyes, this isn't about wishing you'd come back to me, and it's not about wishing someone would notice me. This is about surviving. This is about simply getting through tomorrow._

_I promised myself I wouldn't weep, one more promise I could keep._

_Love is a cruel twisted joke. I fell for it once and I never fall for the same joke twice._

_Do you ever have those time when you cry, but you don't have a clue as to why? I can't be the only one, can I?_

_Sad, isn't it? How no matter what you do or say to me, when you come running back, when you need me again, I'll be right her waiting for you. I'll take you back, no questions asked. Sad, isn't it?_

_There are three types of people in this world: the ones who keep you alive, the ones who would other wise cause you to die, and the ones who manage to do both at the same time._

_How do I listen to my mind without breaking my heart?_

_And the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize how much I love you._

_I would've followed him to hell if he asked me and maybe I did._

_I loved greater because of you, now I hate greater, too._

_It hurts the most when you can actually feel your heart breaking._

_All I want is for you to know me again and for me to be in your life. And even if it can't happen right now, I would just like to know that you heard my plea. I would just like to know that I am not blocked from your memory._

_I cry because I know he doesn't feel the way I do. I cry because I think of how pathetic I am. And I cry because I think I'll be crying forever._

_Kisses are like tears; the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back._

_It hurts, but I don't mind. It's a drag to want someone so much that you deal you can't live without them. It's not fun to want so much. The drag is, I will live without you, I just don't want to._

_the softer you touch me, the harder I fall. The sweeter I taste you, the more bitter and gall. In silence I hear you and louder I cry. The more that I see you, the more that I die._

_I always knew that there was no such thing as a perfect guy. Then I met you and I thought if you were any more perfect, you would be an angel sent from heaven. I kept on trying to find flaws, but the only flaw I found was utter perfection. Well, I guess that 'perfection' is a 10 letter word for 'jerk', because in the end, that's exactly what you were._

_Sometimes it's hard to face reality. you feel the greatest feeling every time you're with that special someone. You can't sleep because you'll see them tomorrow. Every time you're with them it's like a moment in heaven. But soon the magic disappears. Your heart is breaking and tears come constantly. Every beat of your heart hurts from all the pain You wish you were hidden from the world, the maybe all the pain would go away. It's hard to face reality. Love...It's not what it seems._

_~Kim_


	3. Chapter 3

_Loving you is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street_  
_Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly_  
_Loving you is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall_  
_Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all_

_Losing you was blue like I'd never known_  
_Missing you was dark grey all alone_  
_Forgetting you was like trying to know somebody you never met_  
_But loving you was red_  
_Loving you was red_

_Touching you was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you_  
_Memorizing you was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song_  
_Fighting with youwas like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer_  
_Regretting you was like wishing I never found out that love could be that strong_

_Losing you was blue like I'd never known_  
_Missing you was dark grey all alone_  
_Forgetting you was like trying to know somebody you never met_  
_But loving you was red_  
_Oh, red_  
_Burning red_

_Remembering you comes in flashbacks and echoes_  
_Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go_  
_But moving on from you is impossible_  
_When I still see it all in my head_  
_In burning red_  
_Burning, it was red_

_Oh, losing you was blue like I'd never known_  
_Missing you was dark grey all alone_  
_Forgetting you was like trying to know somebody you never met_  
_'Cause loving you was red_  
_Yeah, yeah, red_  
_We're burning red_

_And that's why your spinnin' 'round in my head_  
_Comes back to me, burning red_  
_Yeah, yeah_


	4. Chapter 4

_I find it very hard to even think about forgetting you_

_~Kim_

* * *

_Okay, So, Some of the chapters are messing up, so, I had to re-write them..Anyways, a few will be short for now...But I'm going to re-post the chapters..:)_

_~Nakiyah_


	5. Chapter 5

_There's a part of me that wishes all my dreams come true and a part of me prays that I'll wake up someday and be over you._

_Why is it that after all the pain you've put me through I still seem to think of you?_

_Snow White. Cinderella. All about wanting a guy and getting saved by the guy. Little Mermaid. Aladdin. Pocahontas. All about getting a guy. Basically, we're screwed up because of Disney._

_My tears are still falling from my eyes, this isn't about wishing you'd come back to me, and it's not about wishing someone would notice me. This is about surviving. This is about simply getting through tomorrow._

_I promised myself I wouldn't weep, one more promise I could keep._

_Love is a cruel twisted joke. I fell for it once and I never fall for the same joke twice._

_Do you ever have those time when you cry, but you don't have a clue as to why? I can't be the only one, can I?_

_Sad, isn't it? How no matter what you do or say to me, when you come running back, when you need me again, I'll be right her waiting for you. I'll take you back, no questions asked. Sad, isn't it?_

_There are three types of people in this world: the ones who keep you alive, the ones who would other wise cause you to die, and the ones who manage to do both at the same time._

_How do I listen to my mind without breaking my heart?_

_And the wonder of it all is that you just don't realize how much I love you._

_I would've followed him to hell if he asked me and maybe I did._

_I loved greater because of you, now I hate greater, too._

_It hurts the most when you can actually feel your heart breaking._

_All I want is for you to know me again and for me to be in your life. And even if it can't happen right now, I would just like to know that you heard my plea. I would just like to know that I am not blocked from your memory._

_I cry because I know he doesn't feel the way I do. I cry because I think of how pathetic I am. And I cry because I think I'll be crying forever._

_Kisses are like tears; the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back._

_It hurts, but I don't mind. It's a drag to want someone so much that you deal you can't live without them. It's not fun to want so much. The drag is, I will live without you, I just don't want to._

_the softer you touch me, the harder I fall. The sweeter I taste you, the more bitter and gall. In silence I hear you and louder I cry. The more that I see you, the more that I die._

_I always knew that there was no such thing as a perfect guy. Then I met you and I thought if you were any more perfect, you would be an angel sent from heaven. I kept on trying to find flaws, but the only flaw I found was utter perfection. Well, I guess that 'perfection' is a 10 letter word for 'jerk', because in the end, that's exactly what you were._

_Sometimes it's hard to face reality. you feel the greatest feeling every time you're with that special someone. You can't sleep because you'll see them tomorrow. Every time you're with them it's like a moment in heaven. But soon the magic disappears. Your heart is breaking and tears come constantly. Every beat of your heart hurts from all the pain You wish you were hidden from the world, the maybe all the pain would go away. It's hard to face reality. Love...It's not what it seems._

_~Kim_


	6. Chapter 6

_If you were here.._

_We could pretend time had no limit, and I could picture life with nothing but you in it, and you could take the brush and paint happiness inside a faded heart, and I'd point out you're my shining star even though we're in the dark. And you could hold me while I pray that the seconds last forever, cherish the memories that we make together and call it magic conjured up into a ball of dreams, and as I sleep tonight I'll paint portraits of you and me._

_~Kim_


	7. Chapter 7

_Most of us, if not all, go through the trauma of losing someone we love, and that, perhaps, explains why there is no dearth of sad love quotes in this world. When you come across these quotes, it obviously becomes difficult to hold back your feelings... which often come out in form of anger or helplessness, and culminate into tears. A compilation of some famous love quotes, which are bound to make you cry your heart out._

_"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion."_

_"It takes a minute to like someone, an hour to love someone, but to forget someone takes a lifetime."_

_"The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you." _

_"When you are in love and you get hurt, it is like a cut... it will heal, but there will always be a scar." _  
_"It's amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces." _

_"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to things you don't want to feel."_  
_"I hate to see the one I love happy with somebody, but I surely hate it more to see the one I love unhappy with me..."_

_"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." _

_"A teardrop is insignificant in a pool of water, but it can touch the soul as it runs down someone's face." _  
_"The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up."_

_"Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't, but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do."_

_"Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult." _

_"I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about what we had, but I can't because I know you won't come after me & that's what hurts the most." _

_"A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried."_

_"Since I can't be with you right now I will have to be content just dreaming about when we will be together again." _

_"Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment love begins, but we always recognize the moment it ends?" _

_"When It's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you." _

_"Sometimes you don't realize how much you care for someone until they stop caring for you." _

_"Someone can walk into your life and it is not until after they walk out that you realize that they were even there." _

_These quotes must have rekindled all those memories which you had been desperately trying to leave behind. But the fact is that, the tears which roll down on reading such love quotes and poems actually help you vent the pain you have been trying to suppress all this while; thus making you strong from within._

_~Kim_


	8. Chapter 8

_Love hurts, and sometimes I know it feels unbearable, I know sometimes you sit down and tell yourself you are going to do everything you can possibly do to forget this boy who you gave your fragile heart to just so he could throw to the ground and smash it into an inevitable amount off pieces only for his own satisfaction, and it all makes sense, it IS time to let go. And then he looks at you. And when he looks at you every bad memory is replaced with every good memory and its like you have no time to think about how he's hurt you because your heart has closed every sensible door in your brain and its telling you to keep loving him, because if you don't keep loving him your heart is scared he doesn't come back. And what if he does? And what if when he does your not there anymore because you pushed away all the feelings you knew were real and looked in behind those doors that were destined to be shut. The lesson I tried to teach here, was that your heart is always right._

_~Kim_


	9. Chapter 9

_Look, I guarantee there will be tough times. I guarantee that at some time, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you're the only one for me._

_~Kim_


	10. Chapter 10

_To love someone is madness, I think I'm crazy then.._

_~Kim_


	11. Chapter 11

_I never loved someone as much as I love you_

_~Kim_


	12. Chapter 12

_I never used to believe in dreams..._

_Not even the kinds most girls fancy,_

_Of knights and dragons,_

_And princesses in need of rescue._

_They all seemed so far beyond my realm..._

_Until I met you._

_Now I dream all the time,_

_Day and night_

_Waking, sleeping..._

_And all my thoughts are of you._

_Strange, but now in my life,_

_There really is a knight,_

_And a dragon,_

_And someone in need of rescuing._

_I have no way of knowing,_

_Whether or not dreams come true,_

_But just this once,_

_With all my heart,_

_I hope they do._

_~Kim_


	13. Chapter 13

_I'll stop loving you when_

_Diamonds never sparkle and flowers cease to grow_

_When thunder doesn't echo and rivers never flow_

_When hearts no longer wonder and hands are never held_

_When smiles are only memories and joy is never felt_

_When trees no longer blossom and stars refuse to shine_

_When autumn has no falling leaves and winter no longer dies_

_When time has no tomorrows and rainbows have no hues_

_When God alone commands me_

_Then I'll stop loving you._

_~Kim_


	14. Chapter 14

_Its not possible, I cannot go a day without thinking about you_

_~Kim_


	15. Chapter 15

_Kiss_

_Point your lashes down and you can picture my face - I'm smiling..._

_Open your mouth, speak with your heart and you can see my soul - I'm waiting..._

_Place your arms around my waist and you can embrace my uncertainty - I'm shaking..._

_Press your lips against mine and try to catch me - I'm falling..._

_~Kim_


	16. Chapter 16

_Your my bestfriend, my rock, my everything. ❤️_

_~Kim_


End file.
